Every year I discern and am certain that once again, God is calling me to homeschool. I am afraid of my own weakness and failure. But every year, God holds my hand, either through the advice and help of a friend, or frequently, my own children. He also in the midst of the grueling day that it can be in working with special needs, makes me laugh and gives me mini-doses of sheer joy throughout. For instance, Angel Boy ASKING me if he can take his math test, skipping back into the dining room (aka school room). Where does this child come from? His mother is repulsed at the idea of tests and math. (shhh). The Little Guy in an attempt to get a certain food item out he knows is not the usual asking me if he can do "a little food experiment?" I have to admire his astuteness. Princess who would rather bake cupcakes all day than do anything else, asking me if I would look up some recipes for her, and tell her what ingredients I can have, so I can eat them too. But the cake topper is this. I can get really overwhelmed at the prospect of organizing and planning. Just not my gift. Homeschooling 4 kids with special needs, and raising 5, can be daunting on a daily basis. At the beginning of the school year, I showed the Queen what was expected of them this year, what they were supposed to accomplish in each subject, and how much time needed to be spent daily (based on our St. Thomas Aquinas Academy yearly assessments and planning they send us). She sat down on her own and typed up our daily school schedule, and people, she wakes me up every morning, the same time, keeps me on task, keeps me sane, and reminds me if I've forgotten something. If you are looking for a personal organizer, look her up in about 5 yrs. God is so merciful to me. Somehow he sees me much more capable than I see myself. It makes me consider the Christmas story we are celebrating. He called the Holy Family to a tremendously difficult task. The road ahead was not easy, full of grace and blessing, but also suffering and hardship. Their whole life as a family started in a cold, dirty cave. Joseph tried hard to find a special spot for Mary and Jesus but that was all he could find. Mary, though accepting it willingly, also felt so small to be taking on such a role as becoming the mother of God. But they both said, yes, and trusted God for the rest.